>20 plus 10 predictions for 2010

>1: That i’ll go blind from it.

2: Death and taxation will still be a problem.
3: My t-shirt company will go into liquidity.
4: My balls will hang further to the left.
5: Barrack O’Bama will get arrested for gang banging.
6: The Pope will come out.
7: I’ll manage to fuck up the other two doors on my car.
8: Michael Jackson will die.
9: I’ll win the Eurovision for everyone.
10: I’ll find a way of making money from self gratification.
11: I’ll win a local theatre raffle.
12: Random events.
13: They’ll find Maddie. Dead.
14: Carly Simon will let it slip that the song was indeed about me.
15: I’ll become more personable…..
16: The credit card company will owe ME money.
17: I’ll get a missed call from Zoe Saldana.
18: Lady GaGa’s dick will release a solo album.
19: Global warming will get over itself.
20: Girls will learn to think like normal rational beings.
1: I’ll become internet famous after my threeway porno with the two actors from a ‘Suite Life of Zack and Cody’ gets leaked online.
2: I’ll stop a crime.
3: My crime stopping will be rewarded by the president and I’ll get my picture in the local paper for being the BEST amateur policeman in the country.
4: There will be a big tsunami and all the people in skinny jeans will drown to death because they cant climb tree’s in skinny jeans.
5: Easter eggs will evolve into chocolate chickens and we’ll give each other chocolate chickens for easter.
6: Brian Cowen will take a couple of months off running the country into the ground because he’s trying to dedicate more time to local theatre.
7: He’ll win a Tony award for his performance of Da in the play ‘Da’.
8: Seán Ó HArgáin will put his face on a poster and put the poster EVERYWHERE.
9: Christmas will come early.
10: My film ‘The Hunt For Jesus’s Gold’ will win the hearts, minds and vaginas of everyone at the Sundance film thingy.
Them’s my predictions for 2010. I hope ye all have a good one.
Personally; I’m really glad 2009 is over, considering how shit it was, i’ll most likely be in my room for the next 12 months. So it’ll be safe to bring your kids to the park …for now.

About davetheminogue

I'm one of those cynics you're always reading about.
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