>Bono called…..

>Bono rang me last night- Again.

He’s worse
than those concern adds, always ringing when i’m eating my dinner….

‘Dave, it’s Bono, from U2.’
‘Yeah Bono. I know when you call. I have your name saved in my phone. What’s up? I’m just about to eat my dinner.’

‘You are? But i thought you had you dinner at 7 o’clock?’
‘Bono, how many times do i have to tell you? Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday I have my dinner at half 6. Thursday, Friday and Saturday i eat at 7. Sundays between 2 to 3. Sundays are different.’

‘Oh right, ok. Well do you have a minute now?’

‘Yeah, but make it quick ok? Hollyoaks is on’

‘Its not that important Dave- Only Ending World Poverty’
‘Fine, go on, what is it?’

‘Did you get the November
National Geographic…?’

‘Did you see the part about oven boxes?’

‘I skimmed through but i got the gist’

‘Well what?’

‘Do you think they’d work in Africa?’
‘I guess.. they are solar powered’

‘Fuck. I think this might be it Dave.’

Might be what?’
‘The End of World Poverty.’
‘Look Bono, dont get your hopes up. You thought that about wind up radios too.’

‘Yeah- they worked. We just needed more wind
up radio stations’

‘But Box Ovens Dave. Imagine it. Stop closing your eyes for a moment and just dream it….The blacks wont need big expensive ovens anymore. We dont need to worry about eletricity or the government. This puts ovens back into the hands of the people.’

‘Bono, look-‘

‘No Dave, You Look.’
‘….?…………………………………………at what Bono?’

‘The bigger picture. Imagine it Dave, Ending Stupid World Poverty Forever. Do you have any idea how Stupid poverty is? Just take off your blindfold. Take it off, Man. We could end it. We just need to get these oven boxes to the people. If we could just take off people’s blind folds…ya know?’
‘Ok, lets just say we get these oven boxes to the people- What are they going to put in them? The problem is lack of food and general resources…not ovens.’

‘…………hadn’t thought of that.’
‘No. You never think these things through. You just ring me up willy nilly and start sprouting on about the end of world poverty-.’
‘Hey, man relax. I’m out there fighting this thing. Every fucking other day, i’m out there. Fightin, for the blacks’
‘I know Bono, i know.’

‘You have no idea what its like growing up in Ireland-how Secular everything is there- being persecuted for being catholic. Priests are cunts too’
‘Bono your from Dublin’

‘Being white aint easy you know’
‘Bono your not making sense’

‘Because you refuse to see the truth, because your eyes are closed and you wrapped a blindfold over so even if you bothered to try open them you’d still see nothing.’

‘Bono, i gotta go….’

‘No, wait… ‘

‘Any goss for me?’

‘Any goss? Anything strange?’

‘Am…no, my dinner is getting cold-‘

‘Liam Gallagher bummed me last night…’

About davetheminogue

I'm one of those cynics you're always reading about.
This entry was posted in bono. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to >Bono called…..

  1. Anonymous says:

    >nice to know some truth about boner!

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