>My Interview with the River Valley Band

>It was a cold morning and it was raining heavily outside. I was making my way to interview the River Valley Band. They insisted on being interviewed by a river. Initially i thought it was for a photo op but i was informed by their manager i was not allowed take pictures of any of them nor was i to make eye contact or try remember what they looked like. Their mystic and intrigue only grew and grew (in my pants).

Finally, my big day arrived.

When i got to the river, there was no one around. At first i thought i had mis understood the directions and was therefore lost. I waited for a bit, close to half an hour. I was about to leave when out of the tree’s came Dave Barry, the RVB’s manager slash wardrobe consultant.


‘Where’s the band?’ and ‘do you think its cool to leave people waiting in the woods Dave Barry?’ were my first questions.

‘It was a test of patience ‘ said Dave Barry ‘You have passed’.

He took out a rams horn and blew it east.

A gust of wind picked up.

He pointed to the river and whispered ‘….look’.

As i turned; I saw the RVB emerge from a veil of fog in a well crafted home made Viking long boat.

So there i was, sailing down the River Nore with The River Valley Band. I’m not going to lie, i was nervous, so nervous that my hands were shaking.

Danny Cody, the bands lead singer leaned forward and wrapped his hands around mine.

‘Relax’ he assured ‘we know where we’re going.’

‘To the sky’ said Dave Thompson, the drummer, seen left.

I looked at them and took a deep breath, I was in the presence of Gods.


Ok’ said I, ‘Lets get this going!!!’

Eoin Leadbetter and Liam Teehan started chanting, i think it was a gregorian chant, i couldnt be certain.

‘Lets interview, little man, lets interview’ said Danny.

I drew my breath…

‘The RVB has reputation for being quite a cut throat band in terms of criticizing other bands and musicians that are out there, would you care to elaborate on that?’

Danny steps up first, ‘Yeah i would actually; All music, ALL of it, past 1980, is, Shit.’

‘Yeah, write that down and put it in your blog’ add’s lead guitarist Connor Brett, as he spits his tabasco flavoured tobacco over board.

‘Ok, so where does that place ye then? Considering it’s 2009…..?’ says i.

‘Well, we’re not shit because we have a certain affinity to the old days’ -Liam Teehan, serial bassist.

‘I dont quite follow‘- says me.

‘Well, imagine you had a time machine and took it back in time, spent a few years there and then want back to the future and remembered that time you went back in time. Thats pretty much our attitude towards our music’ –

Dave Thompson.


‘Yeah, like a holiday to Spain. Like, say you might have gone to Spain once and come home and then you remembered what its like to be a Spanish person but your not.’ -Eoin Leadbetter.

‘Yeah, cos we’re Irish’– Danny.

‘We feel a bit American too’– Connor.

‘Feeling American is tough for us- because we hate America’

-Liam.


‘Yeah, because of Bush’– Connor.

They all grumble ‘fuck Bush’ or various sentiment.

‘Interesting. There is quite a strong country/blues influence in your music, what is it about country music that grabs you so?’- me

Well first off- we HATE country music’ -Thompson.


‘Yeah, we’re nothing like country. If you bothered to ever listen to our music you’d know that. Country music has fiddles and shit, you hear any fiddles in our music? The answer is No. We hate FIDDLES.‘ -Danny


Country music is SHIT. ‘– Thompson.


They all agree with him.


‘If i ever a met a country music musician i’d probably kill him’ -Eoin.


‘Me too’ says Connor ‘here, write this down too; Im going to kill Garth Brookes’

‘He’ll fuckin murder him’ -Liam.


‘And another thing; Fuck the Beatles’ -Thompson.


‘Yeah, write this down too; Beatle Mania is Over! Prepare for River Valley Band Mania’- Connor.

‘Fuckin four chord wonders’ -Danny.

The River Valley Band?’ Me.

‘No, man thats us. Fuck the beatles’ –Eoin.

‘Ok, so what exactly is your influences?’- I ask.

‘Well Bob Dylan. Obviously.‘- Danny.

‘Did you get that River Valley Band Mania quote?’- Connor.

‘Yes’


The River Valley Band’s single ‘Kimberly’ is out now and available for download on itunes, http://www.download.ie, it’s only 99 cent a download so- don’t bother your arse. Email me and I’ll send you a FREE copy.

PS- click m’ link under the post.




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About davetheminogue

I'm one of those cynics you're always reading about.
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