>I Shave My Balls Now.

>Recently enough, the argument for shaving my balls was presented to me. At first i was totally against the idea.

‘How dare you!’ i would scream.
‘I’m a real man’ i would shout.
‘This is how god made me’ and the door would slam.
I couldnt keep running from the argument. Running from the truth.
Eventually i was sold on two issues;
1: Image. Image is everything, allegedly.

2: The illusion of size.
3: Smell.

The number three of the two reasons to shave my balls was the biggest deal breaker for me.

I can handle it looking like a former bearded circus midget working in the car boot sale but i couldnt handle the idea that there might be a smell down there.

So, i went off and shaved my crotch. It was a horribe ordeal.

The first few days were weird.

I could tell he wasnt happy with me.

Cowering away, ignoring me, sobbing all night.

I couldnt touch him.
I was getting the cold shoulder alright. I’d crawl into bed and i wouldnt even get a kiss goodnight.
It was tough. But after a few days we worked through it and managed to get over it together and began to enjoy our new hair free life together.
Here’s a list of ten things my shaved balls look like:

1: Nosferatu

2: Krang from ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’

3: A baby bird……but man sized…..

4: A guy in a shit Juggernaut costume.

5: The ‘Hey You Guys’ guy from the Goonies.

6: Truman Capote.

7: Gail Porter.

8: Someone with leukemia (i wont put up a picture).

9: A James Bond Villain.
And Finally……

10: Bruce Fuck’n Willis.
I like the fact my dick looks like Bruce Willis….and i’m pretty sure he’d be glad that he looks like my dick too.
They might even ask my dick to be a stunt double for Bruce in Die Hard 5.

About davetheminogue

I'm one of those cynics you're always reading about.
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One Response to >I Shave My Balls Now.

  1. Gary Nolan says:

    >You should shave the hairs of your arsehole.

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