>I Shave My Balls Now.

>Recently enough, the argument for shaving my balls was presented to me. At first i was totally against the idea.

‘How dare you!’ i would scream.
‘I’m a real man’ i would shout.
‘This is how god made me’ and the door would slam.
I couldnt keep running from the argument. Running from the truth.
Eventually i was sold on two issues;
1: Image. Image is everything, allegedly.

2: The illusion of size.
3: Smell.

The number three of the two reasons to shave my balls was the biggest deal breaker for me.

I can handle it looking like a former bearded circus midget working in the car boot sale but i couldnt handle the idea that there might be a smell down there.

So, i went off and shaved my crotch. It was a horribe ordeal.

The first few days were weird.

I could tell he wasnt happy with me.

Cowering away, ignoring me, sobbing all night.

I couldnt touch him.
I was getting the cold shoulder alright. I’d crawl into bed and i wouldnt even get a kiss goodnight.
It was tough. But after a few days we worked through it and managed to get over it together and began to enjoy our new hair free life together.
Here’s a list of ten things my shaved balls look like:

1: Nosferatu

2: Krang from ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’

3: A baby bird……but man sized…..

4: A guy in a shit Juggernaut costume.

5: The ‘Hey You Guys’ guy from the Goonies.

6: Truman Capote.

7: Gail Porter.

8: Someone with leukemia (i wont put up a picture).

9: A James Bond Villain.
And Finally……

10: Bruce Fuck’n Willis.
I like the fact my dick looks like Bruce Willis….and i’m pretty sure he’d be glad that he looks like my dick too.
They might even ask my dick to be a stunt double for Bruce in Die Hard 5.
Advertisements

About davetheminogue

I'm one of those cynics you're always reading about.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to >I Shave My Balls Now.

  1. Gary Nolan says:

    >You should shave the hairs of your arsehole.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s