>7 Good Reasons to HATE Mick Minogue

Ever hear tell of my cousin Mick Minogue?

Well I’m sure you have heard of this lanky prick, especially if you listen to his boyfriend Ray D’Arcy.

I’m sure you heard ‘he’s cool’ and ‘a really good artist’ and ‘fair nifty in a fight’. Well let me tell you something about this so called cool artistic fighting machine.
He’s not cool.
He’s not artistic.

He’s not nifty in a fight at all.
In fact he’s the opposite of nifty. He’s reverse nifty.
So, blind fools, let me lift the veil this wretched creature has sneakily bestowed upon your eyes once and for all.

Here’s 7 good reasons to HATE Mick Minogue;
1: He’s a bad role model to kids.

Look at him there. Drinking and urban surfing at the same time. What kind of example does that set to our precious little children? Children- who happen to be our future. And if you ask me, i bet he paid no heed to that speed bump.

Also, if you look at the second picture or exhibit number 2 if you

will, you can clearly see he’s driving at a ferocious speed with his eyes not dedicated to the road ahead.

Shamefull shit.

2: He thinks that he is the reincarnation of Douglas Fairbanks. Which he’s not.

3: It seems like he went to Hogwarts, so he may be a powerful wizard.

4: He feeds acid to monkeys.

5: He goes around to schools teaching kids how he likes to be touched up. Then uses reverse psychology to make them touch him up in places one shouldnt really be making 14 year old boys and girls touch. I’m surprised he’s been allowed get away with it for so long. He’s probably getting away with it by using his wizardry or his reverse psychology or maybe he’s combining the two.

6: I’m not quite sure I can say this legally because there’s no “evidence” – but he hired that sheep herder (or ‘Shepherd’ to the lame man) in the picture to bring him up a mountain. He then, allegedly got the ‘shepherd’ drunk on rain deer piss, which contained powerful magical psychedelic properties and convinced the shepherd to let mick bugger him. Then, because it was against the shepherd code to get buggered up a mountain, the shepherd was forced to kill himself by the shepherd council. You couldnt make a story like that up so thats how you know its true.

7: He’s as smug as you fuckin like.


About davetheminogue

I'm one of those cynics you're always reading about.
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One Response to >7 Good Reasons to HATE Mick Minogue

  1. Mick Minogue says:

    >How dare you, how bloodly dare you, Ben the Sheep herding man was a dear friend and the buggering was a formality in his parts (private parts) so he deserved the honest death he gave himself! As for smug…yeah ya would!!!

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