>My Most Maturist Blog Ever

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I know it’s not very mature to write a blog about someone I hate but I need to warn the world of this hideous monster.

Her name;

Niamh X,

I don’t actually know her surname, but if I ever find out you will be the first to know. To start with I’m just gonna write a list of the 15 top reasons why I hate her;

  1. Her favourite show is Jonathon Creek. I’ve never seen that show; only little clips here and there is never anything interesting happening. At best just a bunch of ugly people hanging out in a field or in a bungalow.

  2. The burning man festival was set up purely for people to get away from her oppressive personality.

  3. She collects used tissues and loves the smell of sanitary baskets girls have in girl bathrooms for their female disposal stuff

    that only girls need to dispose of and guys don’t.

  4. She makes her living through online poker. I’ve nothing against poker or online poker or even gambling for a living but for some reason it makes me sick thinking of her sitting by a computer doing that.

  5. She thinks she’s tall for a girl, but she’s just fucking average height.

  6. She’s afraid to wash her clothes.

  7. Her blood type is ugly.

  8. In her youth she used go online and try make old men have sex with her… but they wouldn’t cos not even old men are that desperate.

  9. She has this stupid lip ring. I usually like them but she makes them seem so…last week.

  10. She’s illiterate; which is at the moment my most powerful tool in seeing to her demise.

  11. She went to Africa to punch a poor little faminised kid, the ones with those stomachs (the very ones you, me eddie brennan and bob geldof worked ever so hard to save). Why? I hear you ask. Because once, in a stupid and futile effort to become friends with her, I did the thing where you send the Africans a euro* and they can live forever and promise to write to you every day and put it in her name because I’m fuckin’ KIND. The kid, accidentally called her Mrs Niamh in the letter,  so she flew over to punch him in his poor starving face because she’s not married.

  12. She only sucks dick to infect men with her venomous saliva, and she hates all men; so she sucks a lot of dick but its not a good thing because your dick will rot off afterwards.

  13. When she grows up she wants to be/ look exactly like Osma Bin Ladden.

  14. She always up the stairs pretending to be a dinosaur.

  15. On the 8th of February each year she dissolves her body in a bucket of acid then takes a hot virgin makes her as ugly as herself and then infests that body with her hideous soul till the next year.

    Sick.

Now you have 15 reasons to hate her. But there is so many other reasons to despise her existence.

* Why isnt it an euro?

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About davetheminogue

I'm one of those cynics you're always reading about.
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